It was hot on the bus, no to say hot isn"t fair it was as if the air were thick, suzy' s yellow sundress was clung by sweat to her skin, her long golden hair pasted to her face some people fanned themselves with newspapers others wiped dampened brows with handkerchiefs every five mins, one man however was seemingly taking an unhealthy interest in suzy as thre ride went on, moving up seats towards the back of the bus where suzy and a farmer with his portly wife occupied the bench dead center of the aisle. the man finally walked down the aisle not stopping at any more seats staring lustfully at young suzanne it took a menaced look and an imperceptible nod of the head but nothing more for the farmer and his wife to pull a powder and get their asses to the fron t of that bus. The man was obviously an aboriginee unfortunately the he was type that gave the rest of the country the excuse to call indians nothin but a bunch of unemployed glue sniffing alcoholics. He stood buy suzy's guess at about 5'11 but wiry and corded with muscle

he had no shirt but a leather vest over top of his bare skin, he had dark skin so that on some parts of his arms you could barely make out some of the many prison tattos that littered his torso. the man rested his left hand on the hilt of what appeared to be a very large hunting knife

with his right he wound up her long hair from the back and twisted it into a tight knot around his hand.he slowly leaned towards her while she suirmed and thrashed about but the entire time his eyes never left hers they were emerald almost a glossy jade indescribably beautiful yet you could eas ily see thr cruelties the pain and the hunger in them. hHis long black hair was straight and looked like it had been lacquered black , he pulled suzy close and whispered to her in a gravelly voice "you, you're a peach aint you?"he then licked the side of her face suzy felt him pull the bowie knife out of his trousers and squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could as he cut open the front of her cotton dress. There she was foetal position on a bus bench miles from home with her dresas torn wide open yet she still hadn't opened her eyes it seemed like an eternity waiting to be violated to be unconsensually penetrated by a complete stranger so she waited ...nothing .the last thing suzy remembers is two voices one the mean one the dark one said in his throaty percussion "what the fuck are you doing this isn't what"POP. suzy still conciously blinding herself had never quite heard a sound like that before, it could've been a firecracker, a car backfiring, a well hit ball in the summer leagues at home, she was just starting to think of home and how she longed to be there but upon realising she was not just wet but soaked she lost all thoughts of home. Suzy's dress never wouldve past for yelllow she was attired in shreddy blod y rags with clots of coagulated blood and brain matter, the bus was on the side of the road with a well dressed man talking to the driver and at one point handing something 0ver
to him. He had given her an exttra shirt to wear that he had in his luggage.

Where was I ahh yes: King Jimmy. I know I've promised to bring to you the origins of the patients at this facility however in order to understand Kendra one needs to know King Jimmie and the practises he employs in turning young girls out, young girls who inevitably and without doubt end up in similar situations such as kendra's. Kendra was by all accounts a headturner, a rubbernecker in short... a knockout. She developed early and was the envy of every girl in her small Saskatchewan town and the desire of every man, boy and for those living alternative lifestyles women. Like most homecoming queens and town beauties everyone in town at least when they wer'nt hitting on her were constantly bending her ear about how she should take up modelling, acting, theatre and so on. She should go to Toronto they would say or New York maybe even god willing Los Angeles! Yet like most farmhand bumpkins what they failed to realise is that there's a Kendra in every town, in every city, and if one ever did make it to one of these major cities they'd realise that just about everyone was as pretty as them if not considerably more so. Alas poor suzanne ( her birth name before Jimmy changed it to Kendra) was naive to say the least and while working double and triple shifts at Jimmy's the diner at Main. str. and Sepulda (not somewhere someone would eat if given the choice) and putting up with Jimmy's sticky hands which seemed permanently glued to her tits and ass whenever business was slow suzanne finally managed to somehow while making $8.40 per hour save up the exact amount of $2455. Suzy put aside $455 dollars to get her hair and nails done buy her bus ticket and still have enough for a new outfit. So through townsflok planting those bugs in her ear along with her own naiivety and the promise from Earl who ran the autobody shop in town and was the closest thing suzy had to a father(having dated her now deceased mother for 14 yrs.) that he knew a friend of his sister's who was high up in the offices of Sutherland Models. Suzy practically ran to the bus station to buy her ticket upon hearing that I mean who hasn't
heard of Sutherland Models right? In spite of the fact that most of the well wishers were there to catch suzy in her tight dress in efforts to glimpse a little tits and arse it was a right send off, Ronnie closed the barber shop for an hour to join in down at the bus depot, Tommy the slow kid who walked around town most days collecting aluminum cans and mumbling incoherently gave suzy a going away gift that eerily resembled a voodoo doll though finding the gesture awfully sweet suzy smiled kissed him on the cheek and gave him a big squeeze of a hug much to the mighty chagrin of the rest of the men in the crowd most who couldn't even hide their dissapointment earning them a wack from their wives purses. After receiving individual advice about the big city from all in attendence and ironically none of those in attendence had never been outside of town Earl gave suzy a jerk of the head indicating he wanted a word alone. Earl looked at Suzy with fatherly affection cupped her cheek in one hand told her how proud he was of her and in a slick almost covertlike motion slid an expensive bonded business card with raised lettering into the palm of her hand, this guy does the pick ups for all the Sutherland girls he arranges places to stay food clothing that sort of thing you call this # when you get to the depot in Toronto hell be waiting there for you and you don't keep him waiting girl ya here? These are busy people and they're going out on a limb for me , got it sugarbear? That was Earl's pet name for suzy growing up "now give me some sugar sugar bear." The two locked in an embrace only seen in the closest of families, they exchanged I love you's and Earl with a tear in his eye told suzy how much he loved her, funny thought suzy for she had never seen Earl shed a tear not once, not even when mamma died;it made her love him and everything he'd done for her that much more. In spite of the love she felt for Earl there was something unsettling something she couldn't explain it was just a tear and so what if he wasn't one for waterworks but there just seemed to be so much pain in that tear and it made her sad to know he loved her that much.
Suzy boarded the bus and when the door closed she saw a fresh tear rolling down Earl's cheek like like a crystal pearl slowly rolling off his chin and dripping on the collar of his flannel, suzy couldn't pinpoint exactly the emotion on Earl's face but if she was forced to guess: remorse and maybe even guilt would come to mind......

I've decided with nowt else to do but act mentally insane at least until my release date to study , learn and get inside the heads of the other patients all in the interest of bringing their stories to you dear readers. As I sit in the cafeteria watching these retards shovel a sloppy almost liquid form of what the staff call meatloaf into their mouths I can hardly mask my nausea and disgust.
Myself I stick mainly to fruit oatmeal, cereal and the odd pasta dish. The head cook all 250 Hungarian lbs. of her puts aside some of the fresher ingredients for me so I won't starve unfortunately in turn I have to fellate her under the East wing stairs once a week;I don't think personal hygiene is at the top of her list of priorities! But I need to eat lest I become week in mind and body. As I sit in the caf spitting grey oily pubic hairs from my mouth a patient named Kendra catches my eye, she has tomatoe sauce from the meatloaf smeared all over her face and alternates between mumbling incoherent words and dipping her forehead gently into her plate of food. As I'm sure you're of enough intelligence reader to realise that only white trash and strippers possess names like Kendra, Kendra was my first pick out of patients to break down simply because I remember her from a hot pillow joint run by a pimp named King Jimmy years ago. It's difficult to beleive but at one time Kendra was not only King Jimmy's bottom bitch (girlfriend, main squeeze) but she was also his best earner. King Jimmy however was an evil S.O.B. it is said he once plucked the eye out of a classmate in grade school introducing young Jimmy to his first stint in the system, and as far as the system was concerned K.Jimmy took to it like a fish to water (cont'd)..............

Dear readers the orderlies came in my room this morning and pricked me with their needles over an incident in the cafeteria. It is my oath to bring this journal to you no matter what efforts they put forth to chemically labotomize me, while not completely catatonic all day I have been in and out of consciousnesssssssssssssssssjj;rlpkvg,,,,,,,,,,,I am aaa TITAN! A MONOLITH! they cannot stoppp me with their psychotropic filled hypessssssssssss

I am writing this with the encouragement of family and staff of the unnamed hospital for the mentally ill at which I am at presently we'll say "enrolled" for want of a better word. I will do so with limited internet access and under the influence of several benzodiazepenes, barbituates, anti-psychotics and other mood altering pharmaceuticals which I can't at this time recall the names of. Like I said the scores of doctors therapists group councellers etc. have encouraged me to keep a journal and write down my thoughts, I normally don`t do what they say simply because I am only recently been transferred here as a result of being found mentally incompetent to stand trial for my horrific crimes, and while I will eventually do what they say in order to convince them they`ve ``cured me!`` it is too soon.They will see through it the same way I saw through the consternation and emotion of my victims before I saved them. No they will never see these words these are only for us............

All torment, trouble, wonder, and amazement
Inhabits here. Some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!
"The Tempest"
W.S.

But the torment of others remains an experience
Unqualified, unworn by subsequent attrition.
People change, and smile: but the agony abides.
T.S. Eliot
"The Dry Salvages", Four Quartets"

Please do not be alarmed or frightened as this is only a test.333