I am writing this with the encouragement of family and staff of the unnamed hospital for the mentally ill at which I am at presently we'll say "enrolled" for want of a better word. I will do so with limited internet access and under the influence of several benzodiazepenes, barbituates, anti-psychotics and other mood altering pharmaceuticals which I can't at this time recall the names of. Like I said the scores of doctors therapists group councellers etc. have encouraged me to keep a journal and write down my thoughts, I normally don`t do what they say simply because I am only recently been transferred here as a result of being found mentally incompetent to stand trial for my horrific crimes, and while I will eventually do what they say in order to convince them they`ve ``cured me!`` it is too soon.They will see through it the same way I saw through the consternation and emotion of my victims before I saved them. No they will never see these words these are only for us............